16/04/24

Why is it so hard for smart people to be happy?

 Many intelligent people do not achieve great success in their careers and in life, and it is not uncommon for them to be subordinated to people of inferior education and intellect.

Why is it so hard for smart people to be happy?

And for this many people ask themselves, in what they are wrong, why is it so difficult for smart people to be happy?

"The intelligent man knows everything about everything except what may benefit him. The happy man knows exactly what is best for him."

Smart people have too high standards.

Having standards is not bad at all. It will help you walk the path to happiness and success. However, too high standards can be a problem.

Smart people usually know what they want out of life and refuse to settle for less. Their high standards apply to all areas of life: work, relationships, life goals.

In fact, such demands can be very difficult to satisfy. This is why intelligent people are constantly haunted by feelings of frustration with their own accomplishments or with work that does not allow them to move forward. Their excessive expectations of themselves can also have a significant impact on their relationships with others.

Smart people are often unable to accept things as they are, and focus on how they should ideally be.

If you are experiencing a state of happiness, your mind is usually fully in the present moment. Then your attention is fully focused on what is happening to you right now.

"The happiness of intelligent people is the rarest thing I have ever met" - Ernest Hemingway.

Smart people don't know how to get satisfaction from the present moment because they are constantly trying to find some meaning.

In a very intelligent person, knowledge trumps awareness. His consciousness is unable to get satisfaction from the present moment: it adds to it or takes away from it, clarifies or reformulates, understands or interprets, just wanders away somewhere, etc. The mind tries to "edit" the current moment and make sense of it because the moment itself is not enough.

This frustration prompts the mind to work desperately to retrieve all the accumulated information and memories that would allow it to make the moment "even better."

And during this process, the mind behaves impatiently, frantically, or confused because its discoveries turn out to be insufficient or it has no luck finding anything at all. And as its current resources prove insufficient, it begins to work even harder: reading, writing, searching the Internet, and just thinking.

Happiness is a mind that calms down; intelligence is a mind that refuses to calm down.

For a happy mind, what is there is enough. Such a person does not try to change the present; he simply accepts it and acts according to the circumstances. The over-intelligent person, on the contrary, is not at all easy to please, so he will never be able to understand what the happy mind is so satisfied with and will accuse him of laziness.

"The ability to observe without judging is the highest form of intelligence."-Jiddu Krishnamurti.

Most intelligent people are constantly obsessed with something.

Highly intelligent people tend to constantly analyze and study things to exhaustion. To make any decision, they have to weigh all the pros and cons. This tendency often leads them to depression.

At the same time, the answers they get to their agonizing questions can not only be unpleasant and frustrating, but also have a devastating effect on the thinkers themselves.

If the result of actions turns out to be worse than expected, intelligent people experience deep disappointment.

Actions do not always lead to the same programmed outcome: intelligent people have too much faith in the power of their intelligence and its ability to predict the consequences of their actions.

"The happiness of intelligent people is the rarest thing I have ever met."- Ernest Hemingway.

Constant relentless self-criticism.

Most intelligent people have quite low self-esteem, and the reason for this lies in the constant criticism they make of themselves.

They are unable to accept their shortcomings because they believe they must live up to the highest standards. That is why they are often in a gloomy state of mind.

They seek a deeper level of existence.

The most intelligent people are able to distinguish the good from the bad, but cannot accept negative human qualities or treat them too harshly. The realization of the harsh truth is painful and overwhelming for them because most intelligent people look inward first and foremost.

They cannot live without constantly reflecting and evaluating their results - it is their second nature. Highly intelligent people have an inquiring mind that constantly asks questions and makes them feel anxious.

"All men who have achieved excellence in philosophy, poetry, art, and politics-even Socrates and Plato-have had a melancholy disposition; in some of them melancholy has even passed into the stage of disease."

Few people truly understand them.

Communication is the greatest source of happiness. We always try to share our worries and concerns with others, which makes it easier to deal with them.

Even the most intelligent person needs someone to share their worries with, thus easing their burden. But it can be very difficult for a highly intelligent person to find a companion who has the same depth as he does.

High intelligence often leads to psychological problems.

High IQ people suffer from a particular kind of disorder that causes them to constantly analyze and question everything. And this path usually brings them neither happiness nor psychological health.

The human mind is a very complex thing and not fully understood. Overanalyzing and a constant feeling of isolation is something that often accompanies intellectual people throughout their lives.

Happiness is hard work every day.

Intelligent people should not give up so easily on the company of others. This is why many intelligent and sensitive people feel so unhappy.

It is quite natural that most intellectuals have some quirks and strange hobbies. But that's no reason to stop associating with people who aren't so perceptive and sensitive.

Intelligent people can behave quite awkwardly in public.

Ordinary people often take advantage of the fact that intellectuals are unfit for life in society. That is why intellectuals often find themselves under the fire of criticism, ridicule, while people of average intelligence, on the contrary, celebrate victory at that moment.

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a word I say."- Oscar Wilde.

Intelligent people often fear that they may lose their abilities.

Ironic taunts and sarcastic attacks from others usually take them by surprise; they don't know how to react. Subsequent analysis of their own behavior only intensifies their sadness.

The question. - The question remains. In theory, things are easy, but in practice they are difficult. Intelligent people often trap themselves. As we began the article, it is all too common that intelligent people do not achieve great success in their careers and may even be subordinated to people of lesser education and intellect. Some intellectuals, especially creative individuals, even break under the pressure of circumstances and other people or fall victim to manipulation.

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14/04/24

Find the courage to leave when they don't give you a reason to stay

Paulo Coelho wrote that "if you have the courage to say goodbye, life will surely reward you with another hello".

Find the courage to leave when they don't give you a reason to stay


This thought came to my mind when I thought about my life and felt a huge emptiness within me. I had been so bad, so hurt and for so long that I had lost hope of seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

I tried to get to the bottom of why I was holding on so tightly to a love that was making me miserable. I desperately wanted the person I loved to change, for the sun to rise again and the clouds to disperse.

The truth was, I was just afraid to let him go. I was terrified that I would never meet another person like him again. I deluded myself that there was a deep and abiding love between us. But it wasn't.

It was a poisonous love that was destroying my soul. I realized it was pulling me deeper and deeper, so the only salvation was to escape, and as quickly as possible.

I was aware that it would be very painful for me to leave. I had invested so much in this love. Energy, time, effort. I just couldn't quit after all that! I'm not one to give up without a fight. I thought so. Then.

But I couldn't stay with it anymore. I made a decision to face all my fears that were paralyzing my will. I made the decision to live without him. And it wasn't so scary. Or rather, it wasn't scary at all. I'm alone now and, I honestly admit, I've never been so at peace in my soul. I have found peace and harmony within myself.

If you feel that nothing is keeping you in a relationship, leave it. Because staying with someone you have nothing in common with is much more painful than leaving. Don't torture yourself. No one deserves your tears.

Find the courage you need in moments like these. I know how you feel. I know how much it hurts. But walk away. Keep moving forward in life and don't look back. Trust your intuition. It's been telling you this decision for a long time, hasn't it?

Find the courage to start your life over. Find new goals. Think of new dreams. Do things that bring you joy and happiness. Don't be afraid - boldly move forward!

You need to get out of this toxic relationship to find yourself again. And, believe me, it will be worth it in the end. When you get rid of everything toxic in your life, you will find wholeness again.

Don't be afraid. And don't look back. Happiness is right in front of you!

Photo: pixabay.com


11/04/24

Signs that a woman is unhappy in her marriage

The dream of many women is to marry successfully. They want to build a strong and happy relationship with a man who will bring them pleasure for the rest of their lives. But sometimes it so happens that marriage with the once beloved man turns into torture.

Signs that a woman is unhappy in her marriage


And then there are signs that indicate that a woman is unhappy in her marriage. About what a woman who is unhappy in a relationship feels, we tell in this article.

Anxiety
When we get into a romantic relationship, we have more reasons to be both happy and anxious. Therefore, we begin to worry more about the other person, their well-being and failures. However, these worries seem to be something quite natural.

If a woman is unhappy in her marriage, she will be haunted by another kind of anxiety. For example, she may periodically face the fear that her partner will offend her or that she will do something that he will misjudge and then cause a scandal.

A build-up of irritation
One of the main signs that a woman is unhappy in her marriage is growing irritation with her partner. Including to his strange habits and peculiarities, which previously she liked or went unnoticed at all.

There are many reasons why this can happen. But if you gloss over the irritation for a long time and don't try to resolve the situation, the marriage will fall apart.

The desire to experience pleasant emotions on the side, outside of marriage
When we can't find pleasure with our partner, we want to try to experience it with someone else. In this case, we're not just talking about sexual infidelity with other men.

For example, a woman who is unhappy in her marriage may be constantly looking for new girlfriends and hobbies. A change of activity and an excess of communication on the side help her stay in good shape if she gets bored with her partner.

Dislike of other women
Staying good-natured and positive when there are problems in a relationship can be difficult. Especially if a woman has lived for a long time with the feeling that marriage makes her unhappy. In this case, she may be angry not only at her partner, but also at other women who are happily married.

In this case, anger is most often expressed in a passive-aggressive form. For example, a woman may point out to her girlfriend her husband's shortcomings and mock his romantic stories.

The need to use sarcasm
Sarcastic taunts may be witty, but you hardly want to use them against a partner for whom you have warm feelings. Family psychologist Jerry Duberstein says that in addition to the need to use sarcasm, an unhappy woman in a marriage also has a desire to provoke conflict with her husband.

In this case, the cause of the quarrel can be even something insignificant. Including lateness at work or forgotten in the office keys to the apartment.

Reluctance for intimacy
Intimate relationships are an important part of married life. If a man or woman no longer wants to have sex with their partner, it may be a sign that the relationship is about to break down.

Of course, sometimes the reluctance to have sex is due to work fatigue or hormonal problems. But if the problem haunts the woman for a long time, it is probably a matter of faded feelings for the partner.

The feeling that the spiritual connection with the man is lost
The fact that a woman is unhappy in her marriage is also indicated by her thoughts about the loss of emotional and spiritual closeness with her partner. This is manifested in her unwillingness to share her dreams, negative thoughts and experiences with her husband.

As a confirmation of the fact that she is no longer emotionally connected to her husband may also be the fact that she now prefers to discuss topics that concern them, not with each other, but with girlfriends. Most often this estrangement leads to further estrangement and divorce.

Secret dreams of freedom
Constant thoughts about how nice it would be to spend time alone also warn of problems in marriage. If all is well in the relationship, partners make plans together and dream of going on holiday together or spending weekends together without leaving home.

If a woman enjoys thinking about how she will spend time alone when her husband is away, this may also be a sign that she is unhappy in the marriage. But only if the woman has such thoughts constantly and over a long period of time.

When you don't listen and hear each other
"Listening" is the most effective way of showing love. When our partner listens, we feel that we are important, that we are valued.

As an unwritten rule, there are times in every relationship when a woman feels unhappy in her marriage. And then if she wants to keep her marriage, she needs to look at herself, find out what is making her unhappy, if possible correct her mistakes and be happy again with the man she loves.

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